Today’s douchebag should be totally ashamed of him or herself.  There’s a rule that every dog owner should live by.  If your dog poops, you scoop.  I myself have never owned a dog, but an ex-boyfriend of mine did, and when I’d walk him I’d always scoop his poop. Did I enjoy picking up large steaming piles of crap?  No.  Did I suck it up and do it?  Yes.  (Except one time the dog had diarrhea and I just didn’t see a way).  It is specifically a huge problem on the Upper West of NYC.  Land of dogs and baby strollers.  At least babies poop in a diaper.  Hmm, has anyone ever explored the doggy diaper?  I’m sure they have, seems too easy.

Anyway, I was walking down the street one day and my luck, it was the one time I wasn’t looking down as I walked.  For whatever reason, when I’m walking the streets of NYC I always look down.  I’m not sure why, I just do.  But one day I was walking along, looking down and this homeless guy says to me, “Honey…it can’t be THAT bad.”  The irony is that I wasn’t even miserable (except for the usual, why does my husband think it’s funny to fart loudly, type misery) If a homeless man went out of his way to comment on my miserable looking persona, it was definitely time to make a concerted effort to change.

So I did, and what did it get me?  A sneaker full of Schnauzer shit, poodle poop, dalmation doodie.  I don’t know what kind of dog it was, it doesn’t really matter.  Dog crap is dog crap when it ends up on the bottom of your shoe.  And I was wearing sneakers so it really got up in there, in every ridge, every crevasse.  It’s infuriating and it’s all because some douchebag didn’t do his due diligence when his dog took a dump. From now on I’m going back to looking down when I walk, that way I’ll see what I’m walking into.  Lesson learned, I’d rather LOOK miserable than BE miserable after stepping in a pile of shit.