First I’ll start by saying, the real douchebag is Irma, and Harvey, and Maria, or any other natural disaster that decides to blow through, wreak havoc, and ruin people’s lives. In all seriousness, it’s devastating and heartbreaking.

In the spirit of getting through tough times with laughter, here is today’s douchebag. We rode out the storm at the Grand Floridian at Disney. I totally realize how fortunate we were to be able to do that, but really, much of the staff kept up the whole, “have a magical day” all the way through. Clearly I’m not their target audience as you know, but, there’s a category 4 hurricane on route to plow through here, you really think it’s gonna be so magical? There really should be a clause in the rulebook, take the “happy” down a notch for natural disasters. Walt, you missed the mark on that one.

Cut to 4 days later and we still had no power, so we decided to check into a hotel downtown. Everything was going smoothly until about 11:37PM. The people in the room next to us had just gotten in, and clearly there was some…tension. It was a man and woman, and they, well actually, she was so loud, it sounded like she was lying next to me on the bed. While we couldn’t make out completely what the man was saying, mainly because she kept yelling over him, we could hear every word the woman was saying crystal clear. Her side of the conversation went a little like this. My mom reads my blog so…sorry mom.

“What the f*#k do you want me to say? I f*%king told you a million times, I am NOT f%#king anyone else!!! Why the f*@k would I lie to you?! I’m so f#%king sick of this f#$king bullshit!

This went on for about 10-15 minutes. It’s shocking our daughter didn’t wake up, but I think she had hurricane hangover and was just really tired. She’s also a deep sleeper which I’m extremely jealous of. Someone passes gas and I’m up.

Anyway it continued on, and ended with something like this….

“This is f&%king ridiculous, I f&%king had it, so…F*$K YOU!!!”

Then there was an incredibly loud slam of the door, and that was it. As tired as I was, I was so worked up from the whole thing there was no way I could fall asleep. That, and my husband snores. If a fart wakes me up, you can imagine how I do with snoring. Not well. I smacked him awake so many times it was borderline abuse. That said, it’s still pretty clear that crazy lady next door, you are the douchebag of the f#%king day.

Written by Hope Grider