So we rented our last 2 houses, and one of the perks is that the owner pays for all the maintenance on the house, including the pool, so once a week a guy would come and take care of it. I definitely saw him here and there, but never actually had a conversation with him. It’s not that I wouldn’t, it just hadn’t happened. The truth is, being a stay at home mom right now, I seriously crave adult conversation. I find it’s getting harder and harder to act interested when Lily tells me that Elsa has to wear the purple dress because Anna is wearing her pink dress, but Elsa really wants to wear the orange and yellow dress that Cinderella is wearing. And they all want new sparkly shoes. Sure I smile and act totally interested, but in my head I’m thinking, I just don’t give a crap what any of these bitches are wearing, and frankly, that side-braid Elsa has is on my last nerve. I don’t know why, it just is. And while I’m at it, it’s time to cut Rapunzel’s damn hair. I’d like to modernize the story, instead of her ‘letting down her hair’ so the prince can climb up, how ’bout we send a top tier hairdresser up instead to cut off about 3 feet, and add some layers. Hell, she might even have the face for a textured bob. And all the excess hair can make a bunch of wigs for kids with cancer. Boom! Modern with a message.
So one day I was out back playing with my daughter when the pool guy happened to come. I said hello, he said hello back and then asked me if I had gotten the note he had left me. I said no as I had not seen a note from him. He said he had left me one asking us to fill up the pool a bit as the water was too low. I guess it can affect the motor or some shit like that. He then asked me if I had gotten any of the notes he had left me over the past couple months, again I responded no. I asked him where he’d been leaving them and he showed me. If I was trying to hide something from someone, I would put it where this guy was leaving these alleged notes. It was behind this outdoor bar we have, in the corner, and the only thing there is a spiderweb due to lack of use. My confusion over his note placement was probably obvious when I asked what these notes said. He told me that sometimes he has to treat the pool with certain chemicals and advises people not to swim for a certain amount of time after. Well that’s just perfect, we take Lily in the pool a lot so chances are she was swimming with the chemicals, and then there’s her penchant for swallowing pool water. I bust my ass to buy organic and always made all her damn food from scratch, only to discover she’s ingesting sodium-bisulfate and muriatic acid. Thinking about that seriously made me want to leave my pool guy a very conspicuous note telling him he’s a dick. But wasn’t going to happen, so I just shot him passive aggressive dirty looks and today I’m making him the` douchebag of the day.